Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
