That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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