Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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