God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
