apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
