Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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