HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
