I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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