How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
