I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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