About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
