I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
