Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
