You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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