she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
