we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
