She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Two words: blizzard sex
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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