but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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