So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
