i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
