So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
