Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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