Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She's the barista slut.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
