We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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