Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
