Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
