So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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