Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
