I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize