sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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