she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
