I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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