He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
