what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
did you just send me my own nude
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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