that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
