There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You ruined the universe
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
