it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
