singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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