My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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