She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
