Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
porn star boner night. come get it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
