i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
