Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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