saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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