dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
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