do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
a search helicopter?!
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
