i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My vagina is officially offended.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
