Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
FUCK WHALES
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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