I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
