i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
