its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
