Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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