possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
