I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize