if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She said her name was "party"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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