So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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