and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
