but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize