And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
