TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
