My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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