My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
