"it" just moved
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My penis needs a shock collar
whose parrot is this?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize